The climate is in crisis. Children are starving across the world.

Our problems are so small in comparison.

What is one less dish in the world?

Haven’t we said we wanted to live a simpler life with less possessions?

As a wise man once hypothesized, imagine a world with no possessions. This is a step in the right direction.

I’d also like us to recall something the twenty-five-year-old yoga teacher said in class last week. Impermanence. The lesson of non-attachment. This is a valuable exercise in accepting what we’ve lost.

So for that, I guess, you’re welcome?

Plus, I’m pretty sure in our agreed-upon marriage vows a certain clause regarding “for better, or for worse.” This is a stipulation under the “worse” category and I’m afraid our agreement is legally binding.

Also, I don’t mean to blame the victim here, but the dish was slippery. Perhaps the dish was not washed properly, I dont know, I’m not a dishwashing expert. Although, yes, I was the one that washed the dish, but as science has proven, correlation does not imply causation.

And, and again, I’m not looking to defect blame here, but sweetie, what about you? Are you, yourself, not also culpable? Who was it that placed the dish away, and put it so close to the edge of the cupboard, endangering its life?

Oh, wait.

Ok, yes that was also me.

Right, I did wash  it and I did put it away. Oh boy.

Well.

Look, let’s not turn this into a debate over who’s right or who’s wrong in this instance. This country is divided enough already.

Sweetie, there is no need for concern. Turn that scowl, upside down.

I can make this right.

Out with the old and in with the new.

That’s right.

I’m taking you shopping. Any dish you want. It’s yours.

And wait a minute.

Yes, I’m getting an idea.

This is brilliant.

I can get it for your birthday!

Even though technically your birthday is a couple of months away, the timing is perfect!

Wow, this kind of turned into a win-win for both of us, so, I guess, again, you’re welcome?

Wow.

The universe does work in mysterious ways. The yoga teacher was so right about that.

I can’t believe how much closer this has brought us.

Happy birthday, sweetie.

And I want you to know: I forgive you.